One Step at a Time...
Every Day that goes by
I feel as if i have climbed one or two steps
towards the end of my Final Destination...
One that I often like to fantasise
that there is a Benevolent Presence
somewhere along the way of that celestial Ladder
waiting for me - and when we meet i will be told:
‘You have suffered tremendously
and have fought long and hard
so now is the time for a break
and be granted your One wish
to Enter a warm Golden Cloud
and feel wrapped and rested by Eternity...”
Well... i know it is not going to happen
but it does not hurt to imagine it
as anything regarding the other side is unknown
and created by people’s unique imaginations
and created by people’s unique imaginations
and comforting wishful thinking -much like mine
while in the physical plane there is a sense
of a strong ‘denseness of the down...here’
and very little comfort to come with it...
In the meantime, while i am still in the arena of the ‘Down here’
there is a story that influenced my attitude throughout my double fight
of A-TB and even worse of the Malassezia Yeast.
I don’t know how long it can keep me going, as at times the daily battle
with the second beast, plunges me emotionally under water
and i see my constant fight as futile and without any purpose
-this only temporarily, as surprisingly from the depths of despair
arises something that lifts me
up, and throws me back in the arena...
Anyway, here is the Story:
My first vibrant and youthful Mother in Law, many years back
was diagnosed with malignant Breast Cancer and lost one breast.
was diagnosed with malignant Breast Cancer and lost one breast.
Even though i was not as informed or involved with Nutrition as i am
now
-been young, pretty and healthy and when all bad things were happening
to other people- i still said from some wise part of myself:
“I guess now you will have to change Your Diet!”
She replied:
“ Oh!..Nah!.. No way!... I cannot live without my Stake! ”
I was stunned and confounded and did not know what to say.
Less that 2 years later she passed away due to advancing Cancer.
I felt really sorry because i liked her but the message for me was:
She could have LIVED without her
Stake... but not with it...
My second Mother in Law also diagnosed with Breast Cancer
and a great ‘Fighter’s Inspiration’ for me, did exactly so:
She changed over a New leaf to the best of her knowledge,
incorporated a lot of fresh raw items in her diet and some supplements.
How good or bad i am not aware, but there was a point
in one of our gatherings that i thought ‘she is eating much like me now!
She is still alive today and in a very advanced age
despite a heart condition on the side.
despite a heart condition on the side.
For My Self:
------------------------------------------------------------------
I have No doubt in my mind
that
“Having Chosen
Nutrition
i have Chosen Life
Had i Chosen Taste or
Habit
i would have Hasten Death”
------------------------------------------------------------------
It has been exactly three years almost to the day, Aug 09 to Aug 12
that i have been completely Off the Antibiotics
and i do not know whether they helped in the end
or simply landed me in the Malassezia Yeast Hell.
and i do not know whether they helped in the end
or simply landed me in the Malassezia Yeast Hell.
I will never know, it is mainly what i believe based on events and results.
For now
* I Climb up 101 Steps Daily
* Walk 3K
* I am Not on Any medication whatsoever for A-Tb or Anything else
* I need No Oxygen machine (...yet)
This is not too bad for a person with the size of a matchstick box
of remaining of healthy(?) lung and supposed to have Died 10 years Back
of remaining of healthy(?) lung and supposed to have Died 10 years Back
not to mention fighting Malassezia Yeast on top
which is highly antagonistic to anything good i try to do for my lungs...
which is highly antagonistic to anything good i try to do for my lungs...
Due to Not being able to swim any more
my condition is definitely deteriorating Fast...
I can Feel it but i keep going...
my condition is definitely deteriorating Fast...
I can Feel it but i keep going...
I have No regrets and could not have done anything better, except for
one thing:
“Get Off the Antibiotics as soon as possible and give my Body a
chance!”
instead of over-bombarding it Day and Night Non-Stop, for so Long...
Now that i have been through this hard journey and have learned so much
-the hard way as is usually the case- i am wondering in retrospect
If i were able to Rewind Time, Events and Decisions
what would i choose to advise myself if starting with a clean slate?
* Give a chance to the ‘Recommended Length’ of Antibiotic Treatment;
If it Works, get out as soon as possible –unless
otherwise advised
and there is good reasoning
behind the recommendation-
and then Get On with Earnestly Building my Immune System.
* If it does Not Work... no reason flogging a Dead Horse and poisoning
my entire body with
consequences waiting to pile up at the end
if lucky / unlucky to reach the
other end and ...
Get On with Earnestly Building my Immune
System
and NEVER Stop until my Body Is No More ...
For Now and while still here
My Motto and Rules
are - and always have Been:
* Be Gentle and Nurturing to the Ailing Organ or Area
* Be Kind and Protective to My Body
* Allow Time and have Patience to discover the True Cause
* Be Prepared to Correct it with All means Available if not harmful
* Rely on Its Inherent Willingness and Wisdom to Heal
* Be Brutal and Relentless Only to the Enemy if possible.
* * *
* * *
Next Entry: Healing Energy
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for *Atypical TB–My Story*
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